Here is the transcript of this morning’s taped broadcast by Osama bin Laden.

Here is the broadcast by CBS, ABC, NBC and al-Jazeerah: OBL-Praises-Harry.mp3

Osama’s War Overview: Transcript

The following is a live broadcast by Osama bin Laden, with simultaneous translating by Achmed Mahmoud, and brought to you by Americans for Better Communication, in association with Corruptive Blabcast Society, and with the Nommutch Better Company, hand in hand with al-Jazeera broadcasting.

We take you now to the live translation:

‘Allo, is dis mike on?

Osama says, Allah’u’Akbar! Greetings, kffir non-believers everywhere, and sons of pigs and apes.

Today the war against ungodliness goes well, after the martyrdom of al-Zarqawi in Iraq. A gentle, kindly and … affable man, he was ridiculed as Zarkman by Emrikkan infidels, but al-Zarqawiwi is irreplaceable.

Really. We’ve been recruiting for months now, and only had a couple of Syrian choads volunteer to be al-Qaeda boss of all Iraq! Those… uhm, morons… couldn’t represent al-Qaeda of East Bogwash, let alone all Iraq!

But let us turn to the recent wins against the Great Shaitan, and the first I want to thank is al-Qaeda West operative Harry Dingy.

Harry Dingy, read your orders when we send them, you shall do even better, so do not worry about the plain, grey look of your wrinkled suit.

Do not be worrying about the … smallness of your brain or the weakness of your croaking diction. It is not necessary for you to be brilliant, you are a tool for Allah! Do not fear Dorian Grey, he is dead ugly but we have reports that you are not… dead.

We at al-Qaeda trust you, Harry Dingy, to kill the Patriot Act and eventually gain house seats on your way to forcing Emrikka to adopt a subservient position to its Muslim betters… in an honorable surrender and retreat.

You, Harry, can show the females of your extended harem the forceful ways of your sharp, incisive oratory and sparkling wit, to turn Nancy P. Lossy and her spitting image Hillar’i-Rhod-hamm,

to the beauty and power of Share Ya Darkside, which is the light side of al-Qaeda. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Harry Dingy, you can lead Emrikka to honorable defeat in its immoral, illegal and unwinnable war against the brave Minute Men of the Muslim world, fighting for freedom to dominate all non-believers and filthy kffir.

We luke to you, Harry Dingy, to ride the weak horse of Satan Emrikka into the water of life, submission to Muslims, or the taste of death at Muslim hands.

You are a mediocre man made great by the demands placed on you by an ignorant cowboy of a president, and you are rushed into the annals of fame and honor, not the limbo of infamy that awaits the enemies of al-Qaeda.

Your victories are the victories of Life Loving Leaders everywhere, Harry Dingy. You need bow to no one.

But al-Qaeda.

Bin Laden, out til next broadcast.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 21st, 2007 at 11:05 am and is filed under Opinion/Editorial, Podcasts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.