Keith vs Larry

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Interviewing Larry Johnson, one-time and now ex-security consultant to CIA

KO: Larry, this Glasgow airport attack-

LJ: oh, don’t jump to conclusions, Keith! We don’t know this is connected to Islam-

KO: WHAT? A car full of liquid gasoline, tanks of butane and nails?

LJ: a disgruntled-

KO: DRIVEN into the airport main entrance?

LJ: Well, like-

KO: Where he POURS gas on himself and ENJOYS BURNING HIMSELF?

LJ: You see, Keith-

KO: Shouting “Allah’u’Ackbar!” while a brave bystander punched him in the face and the police wrestled him to the ground?

LJ: See, Islam is a religion of peace-

KO: …and pulled a suicide vest off him?

LJ: I admit there are a few circumstantial connections-

KO: A few? A FEW? Mr Johnson, what will it take for you to allow yourself to ACCEPT the conscious, rational connection between THIS ATTACK and the Global Jihad?

LJ: uhmm….

KO: Sir?

LJ: I’m thinking…

KO: Well, THAT’s a pleasant change!
(Signoff)

Because after all, it takes 3 idiots to torch themselves to collect their 216 black eyed virgins. How many virgins do you get for just horribly disfiguring yourself? Them “black eyed paradise virgins” must swoon over freak show reject idiots who look like beef teriyaki…

Keith vs Larry

Keith Oldermann interviews Charming_Man, diary-poster at “Screw ‘em!” Daily Kos blog:

KO: Good evening, Charming_Man. May I call you “Man”?
CM: Oh, better you call me Charming…

KO: Charmin’, can you share with us just WHY you think the London Benz discovered last night is, in your words, a ‘Crock of Sh-bleep-t”?

CM: Oh, sure Mr Oldermann, see, President Bush and his henchmen KNOW they have to keep the sheeple scared, so they HAFTA do this kind of stuff every few weeks.

I mean, reaaaally… Tell me which of these plots you believe were real and even remotely close to fruition.
-Ft. Dix shooters -liquid Explosives on plane -EFPs from Iran -Brooklyn Bridge plot -JFK Airport plot -Disneyland plot -Sears Tower plot -Dudes buying a hundred cell phones from WalMart to use them as detonators plot -WMDs in Iraq -Saddam supporting Al Qaeda…

KO: uhm, Weapons of Mass Destruction WERE found in Iraq, and dual-use factories capable of producing more of them, Charmin’

CM: Oh. Well, yabbut I mean the thousands Bush said were there, when he lied to get us into Iraq-

KO: …and the JFK airport arrestees had taken steps to realize their plan, without the help of Karl Rove or any Bush operatives, Charmin’

CM: But that- I mean, like, you know, they-

KO: But you’re saying liquid explosives on a plane would NOT blow a hole in the fuselage, like C4 in Richard Reid’s shoes would have only blown a 3 meter hole in the superstructure of the passenger plane, no problem, is that what you’re saying?

CM: I- the- hey, Man, whose side are you ON?

KO: Rational, logical principled humankind’s side, Man!

CM: Ohhh, now I get it! You’re one of those ‘Truth, justice and the American Way of Life’ morons, aren’t you?
You actually BELIEVE those CCTV cameras in London, and the Tube explosions and 9/11 were jihadis and terrorists, don’t you?
Well, Mr Oldermann, THIS interview-

KO: Is over. Goodbye, Charmin’
(Signoff)
Oldermann Interviews Kossack

This just in:
In her first interview since being released from jail, Paris Hilton told CNN’s Walter Konkrite on Wednesday that she has never used drugs, isn’t a big drinker, and although she feels her incarceration was unwarranted, God had a reason for putting her there so she studied Hizbullah and al-Qaeda.

“Don’t serve the time; let the time serve you,” Hilton said. “I have a new outlook on life, thanks to al-Qaeda.”
The 26-year-old hotel heiress was released from jail early Tuesday after being sentenced to 45 days in jail for driving on a suspended license. Her jail term was cut almost in half for good behavior.

Being jailed, Hilton said, provided “time to get to know myself” and she has emerged from the jail cell with a determination to eliminate the bad elements, and bad friends, from her life. She also promised Konkrite, “I’m just going to follow all the laws of Shari-ah… and America, of course…”

Grilled about the friends she had to sacrifice, she replied, “I’ve gotten rid of a lot of people.” Asked for names, she said, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but those kffirs know who they are.”

During her 23 long, torturous, tedious, pain-filled days in jail, she said she meditated, read the Koran, talked to other Muslims (jailed for being Muslim), wrote in her journal and read the Book of Certitude, though she couldn’t cite a favorite passage when asked. It was also nice to have a little privacy, she said, and to “be away from all the flashes for a while.”

Her imprisonment also reversed a mental disorder she said she had suffered from all her life. Asked by King if her time in jail cured her claustrophobia, she said, “Now that I’m out of there, yes. I found myself thinking of Saddam’s Rape Rooms…”

But there were rough times, too, she said. The food “wasn’t that tasty,” she said. Being strip-searched was the third or fourth most humiliating experience of her life and one Sunday visit from her parents was especially emotional for her, she said, noting that they’d found out about her videos posted at www.ParisExposed.com and felt humiliated.

“It was the first Father’s Day I couldn’t give my dad a hug, and that was really hard on me,” she said, describing how she was separated from her visitors by glass.

When she arrived at the Century Regional Detention Facility, her claustrophobia became too much to handle, she said. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t eat. She suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, she said.

Her deteriorating mental condition is what prompted Sheriff Lee Baca — much to the chagrin of the judge who sentenced Hilton — to release her to house arrest after consulting physicians. “He thought it’d be better for everybody if I just went home,” she said.

An angry prosecutor and judge demanded that she be returned to jail. “Ten minutes before the police arrived I’m yanked out of bed” and told the news, she said, describing the situation as “crazy; it was pure madness, born of massive magical money and privilege that flows from money!”

Asked if she got a “raw deal,” she replied that she had and that she was shocked when her 45-day sentence was handed down because “that doesn’t happen ever to REAL people like me, who are rich and who love al-Qaeda.” Her lawyers had predicted she’d get community service, she said.

“But I don’t know. Even though I hate it, I’m glad it happened in a way because this really changed my life forever, and I feel stronger than ever, now that I’ve found truth, Shari-ah and al-Qaeda.”

Asked three times if she has ever used or been addicted to drugs, she replied flatly, “No. Drugs used ME.” Asked if she was a big drinker, Hilton told King, “I’m not really into it. Psilocybes are better. I think socially people do sometimes when they go out, but it’s not something that I really care about when I have weed, whites and ecstasy.”

She added, “People make up so many crazy stories. The things I read about and things I see is not the person who I am. It really baffles me sometimes when I read things — the places I’ve never been, people I’ve never met — it’s really shocking to me.”
Time will be the determinant of whether Hilton has changed her wily ways or if this is a spurious attempt to rebuild a battered image, said Laurie Levenson, a law professor at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles.

It is possible, Levenson said, that the “transformative experience” of being jailed could have had a profound effect on the heiress, and whether it sticks will depend on what kind of reinforcement and recognition she receives for being good.

Levenson said she is unsure whether Hilton has the necessary tools to be a “great contributor to American society, because she’s been playing somewhat of a vacuous, empty-headed, dumb-blond role.”

But, Levenson acknowledges, being a good girl may not bode well for business — “Sometimes society likes the naughty Paris Hilton. We like a bad girl.”

So does al-Qaeda. (signoff)

Both sides put their spin on dismal polls for Congress 

By Mike Soraghan 
June 29, 2007 

Lawmakers attribute Congress’s low rankings in the polls to a variety of factors — Iraq, the other party, even President Bush.

But they’re unanimous that it’s not their fault and that it won’t translate into pain at the polls.

Mr. President Bush,

Since Washington, D.C. remains AWOL on fulfilling its Constitutional responsibilities to secure our nation’s borders against foreign invasion it is a Constitutional obligation for state lawmakers to step up and do the job that our federal government refuses to do.

Mr. Bush, we respectfully but vehemently urge you not to make the same mistake of ignoring your oath of office to uphold and defend both our federal and state Constitutions by sanctioning the continued House Democrat inaction on the National Security Begins at Home illegal immigration reform package.

Retooled and improved thanks to the invaluable expert public testimony received during last summer’s statewide House Republican Policy Committee hearings on Illegal Immigration Reform, the package is designed to restore safety and security to all Pennsylvania communities by:

• Requiring Mandatory Employer Enrollment in the Federal Social Security Basic Pilot New Employee Verification Program
(House Bill 750)

• Negotiating Law Enforcement Memorandum of Understanding
(House Bill 751)

• Maintaining Criminal History Records of Previously Detained Illegal Immigrants
(House Bill 752)

• Terminating the Professional License of Any Employer that Knowingly Hires an Illegal Alien
(House Bill 753)

• Eliminating All Non-Medical Emergency, Public Benefits for Illegal Aliens
(House Bill 754)

The National Security Begins at Home package is intended to make the Pennsylvania a permanent no-vacancy zone for illegal aliens and corresponding threats to our personal safety and national sovereignty.

Contrary to the views of your newly appointed House Intergovernmental Affairs chairman on immigration issues, Rep. Angel Cruz, no additional taxpayer-funded studies or party-line driven investigative task forces are necessary to tell the people of Pennsylvania that illegal immigration is no longer simply a border state problem.

Moreover, the time for action on the National Security Begins at Home package is right now. From the Steel City of Pittsburgh, to the Coal City of Hazleton, to the governor’s home city of Philadelphia, the following realities represent some of the most recent detrimental ‘imports’ being continually brought into Pennsylvania by illegal aliens:

Stolen Jobs: Federal immigration authorities arrested 81 illegal immigrants from Mexico, Indonesia, Malaysia and Ecuador at a tube manufacturing plant in East Stroudsburg. At least 30 more companies located in the Poconos will also be investigated for hiring illegal aliens. [Source: Pocono Record June 24, 2007]

Traffic Safety Violations and Reckless Endangerment: A truck and trailer pulled over by Pittsburgh Police near the Fort Pitt Tunnel along the high-traffic, Parkway West for non-operational trailer lights, an unsecured trailer hitch and an illegal license plate contained six illegal aliens from El Salvador and Honduras who were employed by a Verizon, Inc. subcontractor. [Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette June 3, 2007]

Terrorism: One illegal alien working in Philadelphia and five other men (two in addition being illegal aliens) were trained in the Poconos to bomb Fort Dix, New Jersey. Fortunately, this terrorist operation was thwarted by the FBI on May 8, 2007. [Source: Fox News, May 9, 2007]

Drug Running: Eight illegal immigrants were arrested after a raid at a Moon Township, Allegheny County apartment on March 23, 2007. They were charged with being in the country illegally and then additional charges of drug trafficking were tacked on when 6 oz. of “black tar heroin,” drug money, and other drug records were found. [Source: Pittsburgh Post Gazette, April 4, 2007]

Homicide: Miguell Padilla, an illegal alien previously arrested on a domestic dispute but not deported, gunned down three men outside the United Veterans Association Club bar in Altoona on Aug. 27, 2005. This case is believed to be the first-ever triple homicide in Altoona. Padilla’s trial and conviction cost Pennsylvania taxpayers no less than $70,000. Total expenses included: jury and expert witness pay, additional charges to house, feed and bus alternative jurors into Blair County and $5,000 in overtime costs for extra sheriff’s deputies. [Sources: WRTA.com, October 19, 2006 and Worldnet Daily, August 30, 2005]

Sexual Predators: Ivan Ernesto Vidal-Diaz, an illegal alien who had been residing in Minnesota, pretended to be sleeping on a Greyhound bus as it traveled west on the PA Turnpike toward Pittsburgh and sexually assaulted a 16-year-old girl. [Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Aug. 2, 2006]

Human Trafficking: The CIA reports that Philadelphia is rapidly becoming one of America’s most frequently used human trafficking gateways. [Source: Nancy Staible, Pennsylvania State Director, Concerned Women of America, Testimony before Pennsylvania House Republican Policy Committee, July 18, 2006]

Confronting the epidemic of imported, illegal immigration head-on in Pennsylvania or anywhere else in America involves shutting off the economic faucets of jobs and public benefits that are luring illegal aliens across the border in the first place.

In short, once the economic attractions of illegal jobs and taxpayer-funded public benefits are severed at the source through the enactment of the National Security Begins at Home package, these illegal alien invaders will have no choice but to leave Pennsylvania and go home on their own.

The people of Pennsylvania have spoken loudly, clearly, and consistently against granting amnesty or any other taxpayer subsidized benefits or services to illegal immigrants. Most importantly, we will not be silent until appropriate, substantive and permanent reforms are enacted to prohibit any degree of citizenship preference to foreign invaders who have violated our borders and until the hammer of justice is brought down on unpatriotic individuals or special interests who are profiting from hiring illegal aliens.

Pennsylvania citizens, both born and naturalized, along with legal resident aliens, must be shown the respect that they deserve by requiring each and every person who desires to reside in our Commonwealth to do so through the legal immigration process.

Mr. Bush, it is our hope that you will join us in our comprehensive effort to end Pennsylvania’s Illegal Alien Invasion by doing everything within your power as majority leader to move each of the extremely important reforms contained in the National Security Begins at Home package out of their respective committees to the House floor for immediate consideration.”

President Bush, how dare you side with non-Americans, illegally abusing American law, American culture and American hospitality, AGAINST tax-paying, voting Americans?

(signoff)
Illegal Invasion Reform NOW, Mr Bush!

This is the newer version of the bill, S.1639.  The bill is 762 pages, so this may take a few posts and a little time.

Key provisions of the bill are listed here without regard to how “newsworthy” I may think it is.  Everyone has their own opinions in that regard and it’s darned hard to find summaries of bills that don’t cherry pick the contents.  I have, however, taken the liberty of putting in bold those items that I, personally, find particularly interesting…for whatever reason.  For details, refer to the actual bill.

 Section 1:  This bill shall not take effect until the following security measures are established, funded, and operational:

a) Operational control of the Mexican border;

b) Hire, train and have on duty an additional 20,000 border patrol agents;

c) Physical barriers at the southern border including 300 miles of vehicle barriers, 370 miles of fencing, 105 radar and camera towers;

d) Deploy 4 unmanned aerial vehicles and supporting systems;

e) Aliens apprehended crossing the border are being detained;

f) Workplace regulations to prevent the hiring of illegals are being enforced, including strict standards for identification documents, electronic eligibilility verification system;

g) The DHS is timely processing applications for Z visas.

Section 2: Establishes an Immigration Security Account, initially funded with $4.4 B from the General Fund, and outlines reporting requirements.

Title 1, Subtitle A:

Adds customs and border protection officers, investigators, US Marshalls, border patrol.

Authorizes “Shadow Wolves” - Customs Patrol Officers units - to operate on Indian Reservations along the northern and southern borders.

Adds technological assets to achieve operational control of the borders.

Construction of a 14 mile fence along the border near San Diego.

Adds not less than 700 miles of new border fencing.

Consultations are required with the Secretaries of Interior and Agriculture, local goverments, Indian tribes, and U.S. property owners to minimize impact on the environment, culture, commerce, and quality of life for those near the areas.

Improve existing and build new ports of entry.

Guest commentator Keith Oldermann addresses Mr Bush:

Mr President, I agree with Mr Bolton 100%, when he says: quote, ‘that ”diplomacy and sanctions have failed… “[So] we have to look at: 1, overthrowing the regime and getting in a new one that won’t pursue nuclear weapons; 2, a last-resort use of force.” ‘

Diplomacy is great, but we know who we’re dealing with. The Iranian maniacs want to destroy our civilization. They declared war on America, by their actions, when Iran invaded our territory, kidnapped American citizens and held them captive for 444 days!

Since then, the State Department has proven itself to be an out-of-touch-with-reality organization, dragged down by bureaucracy and political correctness.

The U.S. really needs to do some Peace-Making. If the French, Belgians, and Swedes are uncomfortable with it, well so are we, but America would be MORE UNCOMFORTABLE with a nuclear-armed Iran, Mr Bush!

We need some creative thinkers who can address the issues at hand, namely–

(1) Iran’s nuclear weapons and publicly stated intent to use them.
(2) The role of Russia, China and others who are working to weaken or destroy the U.S.
(3) The Islam-fueled decadence of western Europe, and the robustness of freedom-loving eastern Europe.
(4) The corrupt role of outright crooks like Chirac, Paul Martin & Gerald Shroeder who infest many governments.
Now is the time to make some dramatic moves that will weaken Iran for a generation.

You can be remembered for generations, as “George Bush, the Republican Jimmy Carter!”

Or you can be remembered as “George Bush, the president who saved America from Islamo-fascist domination.”

Choose well, George Dubya. (signoff) *Hat Tip to Promethea*
Bolton Says: ACT NOW!

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